After the Red Daze
by IntoDarkness
Summary: This is a follow up to Red Daze. I would suggest reading that first. Jane hijacked this story and I've no idea what he's up to, but he is really twisting the heartstrings of his CBI family. Warning Jane pain.
1. The Statement

This is a follow up to Red Daze. I would suggest reading that first. Jane hijacked this story and I've no idea what he's up to, but he is really twisting the heartstrings of his CBI family. Warning Jane pain.

This is for Anna, krystknght, and allanon9 because they wanted more after chapter 5 of Red Daze.

**The Statement**

Jane slept through the night mostly due the pain meds and later sedation when his nightmares threatened to pull out stitches. Lisbon didn't have the heart to wake him, but now it's morning and she needed a statement to catch the bastards that did this to him.

She spoke softly, "Jane. Jane, wake up."

She lightly touched his hand. His entire body jerked, brow wrinkling. He breathed out a small groan and settled back into slumber. She fought back guilty tears, knowing it was better to get it done now so he could rest and recover. He's been through so much. Deep contusions covered his body. Surgery repaired the torn ligaments and deep lacerations, but they will take time to heal. His shoulders and broken ribs will be painful for weeks perhaps a month or two. His jaw was swollen and badly bruised. One eye nearly swollen closed. Wait, not closed?

"Jane, I know you're awake."

"Tired." He muttered, good eye fluttering open.

Lisbon frowned. "I know you're tired and hurting, but we have to do this."

"Water?"

"I need to raise the head of the bed so you can drink. Ok?"

He blinked back at her. She pushed the button; the bed motor whirled, slowly raising Jane into an upright position.

"Ow!" A grimace covered his entire face. He gritted his teeth distorting the swollen jaw.

"Sorry. I'll get you some water." Lisbon nervously poured water into a plastic cup and dropped in a straw.

He gave her a pitiful look as she held the cup for him to sip from the straw. He took a few sips and closed his eyes. She put the cup on the bedside table and pulled a recorder out of her purse. Deciding the best place for the recorder, she put it on the bed next to her chair.

Jane looked at the recorder then up to Lisbon. She had never seen him pout so.

"Jane, cut the guilt trip."

"What?" giving her the innocent boy look.

Lisbon smiled sweetly. "If I could find a place that wasn't already bruised, I would punch you!"

"You're welcome to look."

Lisbon looked away waiting to stop blushing. She cleared her throat and glared back at him. She turned on the recorder. "Jane, you understand I am recording this interview."

He looked at her bewildered. "Oh… yes?"

"I need your full statement about what happened."

Jane stared off nervously grasping the bed sheet. The gauze covering his wrist peeked out from under the sling. She wanted to tell him it was ok, he was safe, he could talk about what happened. She knew not to rush him. Finally, Jane whispered. "I… I didn't call in. I'm sorry."

"What? Jane, I'm confused. You didn't call in?" Lisbon was starting to worry about his ability to cope. Could it be the pain meds?

"Yes." His eyes wondered up to hers. "I didn't call in because I was in the hospital."

Lisbon blinked a couple of times trying to wrap her head around what he was talking about.

"This is about me missing work Tuesday." He looked at her imploringly.

"No, this is about why you are in the hospital. I need your statement. Tell me how you ended up in the hospital."

"Because that cop thought I needed an ambulance…" Lisbon jumped up and paced desperately trying to regain her composure. He was playing her. She needed to get her anger under control. "And the ambulance brought me here. " He watched her pace and think.

Her shoulders slumped and she went back to his bedside. With a big sigh, she sat in the chair. "Jane, who beat the hell out of you and why?"

"I don't know I was blindfolded."

"What about your super powers? What did you hear, what did you smell?"

"Nothing, I've got nothing."

"Jane, I've had enough!" Lisbon stood up and grabbed her purse. "I'll be sending Cho and Rigsby over to take your statement." She stomped to the door and turned around. "If you don't cooperate, I'll have Rigsby give you a shoulder massage!"

"I have your threat on the recorder!"

"Damn it, Jane, why are you doing this!" She stomped back, picked up the device and bolted from the room, slamming the door in her wake. She had no preparation for him to be… well Jane, under these conditions.

"Jane. Wake up." Cho waved his hand over Jane's eyes. There, a small twitch of the eyelid.

"I know you're awake."

His bed was still in the setting position. Jane started to stretch and yawn, but his body protested loudly. "Gawd!"

"No, Cho."

"Hurts Cho!" Jane moaned.

"Don't care. You pissed off Lisbon."

Rigsby towered over the bed. "Yea, and she's making our lives miserable."

Cho turned on the recorder and put it on the bed between him and Jane. He sat down in the chair and mentally prepared for the interview.

"Special Agent Kimball Cho, CBI, interview with Patrick Jane, case number A20100830-9023874. Mr. Jane, do you understand that your statement is being recorded?"

"Water?"

"Mr. Jane, do you understand that your statement is being recorded?"

"Yes. Can I have some water now?"

"No. Tell me what happened after you left CBI headquarters on Friday."

"I got in my car." Jane coughed then groaned. Rigsby frowned at Cho and grabbed the cup on the bedside table. Jane took a few sips. "Thanks Rigsby."

"No problem." Rigsby put the cup down and stood back placing his hands on his hips.

Cho remained stoic, studying Jane's body language looking for answers. Lisbon warned him about Jane's odd behavior. While under the influence of drugs, mental stress and great physical discomfort, he still his wielded his strongest defense weapons, manipulation, teasing and lying. Cho would take as long as it took to find the answers. "Tell me what happened this weekend."

"I went to the grocery store and bought…"

"Jane, move on to Saturday. We know you got gas near Watsonville on Saturday." Cho voice was steady showing no agitation.

"Saturday, I woke and decided to take a drive on Highway 1. I had breakfast at Murphy's." Jane's voice became weaker. "I stopped for gas and took the long way to Gilroy for the Garlic Festival…"

"Then what happened."

"I don't remember."

"You're lying."

Jane shook his head moaning, "No."

Cho frowned. "This was personal." Jane became very still.

"I'm not going to file a complaint. Just drop it." Jane's lips were hardly moving, voice uneven and low.

Cho leaned back in the chair deep in thought. Rigsby watched both men. Jane looked very uncomfortable; staring at his hand clinching the sheet, a pink dot colored the bandage on his wrist.

Cho stood up and got into Jane's face. "It's obvious by your injuries, that you pissed somebody off." Jane's expression was completely blank, he stared through Cho, not at him. Cho pressed on, he had him cornered now. "It's not Red John. There were no life threatening injuries as long as you received treatment in time. They dumped you in a public place. Mafia."

Rigsby gasped. "He's protecting us!"

Cho nodded and rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. Rigsby's shock deepened. Cho is upset and Jane is trying to protect us while displaying no emotion. Did they just switch bodies?

Cho walked away from the bed, then back again, an expression of guilt plainly written on his face.

"I'm sorry man. There will be an investigation regardless of your cooperation. The CBI will be pressing charges for assault on one of its employees."

"No, leave it alone…" Jane's voice trailed off and he closed his eyes panting, he broke out into a sweat.

"Rigsby, push the nurse call button. I need to get back to CBI. You…"

"I'll stay here with Jane."


	2. Too Fragile

**Too Fragile**

Lisbon tried to rub away the headache that was forming. First, she got a phone call from the hospital administrator requesting to remove her people from his hospital immediately. They got into a heated debate over what she called protection and he called patient abuse. In the end, she agreed to no more questioning until an attending physician signed off that Jane was physically and mentally stable.

Then Rigsby called. The hospital staff blamed him for Jane's panic attack. He was worried about Jane and Cho. She got the latest on Jane's condition. He filled her in on what they learned. She warned Rigsby not to ask Jane any questions about the assault.

Lisbon sat at her desk going through case file summaries with Jane complaints or incidences. There were so many. She began sorting them in piles, no, maybe, yes. Her thoughts focused on Jane.

On the surface, he gave no indication he was in deep trouble. He teased and manipulated her as he had since their first case together. She fell for it completely. She wanted him to be his normal, abnormal self. Somewhere deep down inside she knew, he was fighting for sanity. His balance distorted by drugs, pain and the desire to keep the fragile fabric façade in place. He was lost. He wasn't a super hero unaffected by insecurity; he was a traumatized man, with no foundation and nowhere to go. He needed them and they pushed him over the edge. She let him down, she asked Cho to do what she couldn't, and Cho trusted her implicitly. She undercut his instincts as well as her own.

Cho finally made it across town to CBI after sitting in slow and go traffic during rush hour. He walked into Lisbon's office without knocking and sat down in the chair opposite her desk. She looked up from the summaries. "I got an update from Rigsby."

Cho placed his hands on his knees and stared at Lisbon. "He…"

"I know." Lisbon held back the shock of a guilt-ridden Cho.

"Is he ok? What did Rigsby say?"

"They sedated him. He's sleeping."

"He won't give up any more information. I pushed him too hard. I saw him crack. I thought he would open up, not implode."

"Cho, I asked you to do this, this is not your fault. I'm the one who forgot he's the victim in all of this. I have no excuses. We'll find who did this to Jane." Cho needed her to be confident. "We have his car; tread marks at the golf course. Forensics will come up with a connection. Go home Cho, get some rest. I'll see you in the morning." Lisbon moved her attention to the paperwork on her desk.

Cho saw the tension in her body. Another team should handle this. We're way too close and Jane knows how to push our buttons. Jane is struggling with self-incrimination and high levels of medication, he's off his rocker, and his skills of manipulation were hurting the investigation.

As Cho stepped out, Van Pelt breezed in. "Boss, no hits between the golf course members and our case files".

Lisbon frowned, "Van Pelt, there is a reason they took the risk of dropping him off at a swanky golf course. We just need find the connection. Look for any golf course mention in our case files."

"Will do boss. Ah boss?"

"Yes, Van Pelt."

"I hope you don't think this is a terrible thing to say. Can't we charge Jane for obstruction? I mean… you know… to get him to talk. I know it's wrong, but he's the witness in a state case."

Lisbon looked up watching Van Pelt squirm under her scrutiny. "I considered the idea. I choose to spare the judge, the DA and myself a migraine. Besides, threatening Jane with legal recourse never works. In addition, I think he is far more fragile than we thought. We need to treat him like we would any victim."

Rigsby paced around the room trying to calm down after the hospital administrator chewed him out for upsetting one of his patients. Jane was starting to move in his sleep. He stepped to the bedside when he heard mumbling.

"Jane?"

"Rigsby? I… can't…"

"Ssh, don't worry. You don't have to. Just rest okay?" Rigsby tried to sound gentle and soothing.

Jane twisted away mumbling. "I can't hear them."

"What? You can't hear who?"

"Rigsby?" He tried to focus. "Too much medication. I can't… can't… think."

"Just rest. Don't worry. I'm here if you need anything. Ssh, ssh, just relax." He watched his body relax into the bed and fall asleep.

TBC

AN: Please let me know what you think. I feel like I'm trying to find a corner in a round room.


	3. No Narcotics

MentalistLover, Kink Fluff Angst, Anna, and Lily Jayne, thanks for the reviews! You keep me going.

**No Narcotics**

Van Pelt jumped at the sound of the door opening. She had been engrossed in an old Steven King novel Rigsby left. Without thinking, her hand went to her gun. A nurse bustled in and Van Pelt relaxed. The nurse checked Jane's infusion pump and frowned. "What the hell! Are you preventing him from getting his pain meds? I heard about you people. You should be ashamed!"

Van Pelt felt color rise to her cheeks. "No… ah, he doesn't want them. Look, he has the button."

"Sure he doesn't want meds with you sitting there with a gun!" The nurse reached down to push the button for the narcotic.

Jane's hand flashed out from the covers and grabbed the nurse's hand. "Stop!" he croaked. "I don't want the narcotics."

"Yes, you do. Don't let these people intimidate you. You need to be comfortable and rest, so you can get better."

"No, the drugs are making me worse." Jane bit back the pain of movement, desperately trying to look composed and reassuring. "I don't need it, some Tylenol would be nice."

The nurse sputtered looking back from the woman cop and her patient. "Well, we'll see about that. I need to contact your doctor and make other phone calls." She glared at Van Pelt. "The first call will be to the Hospital Administrator! Obviously Mr. Jane, you're not capable of making that decision either by mental deficiency or coercion." She stormed out of the room.

Jane mumbled, "better she's here than with her husband and children. Old cow!"

"Jane!"

"Hum?"

"You know she's right. She's just concerned about your recovery. Why can't you follow your doctor's advice?"

"Eh, what do they know?"

Van Pelt watched Jane closely. He was too pale, weaker than yesterday and covered in sweat. She got a washcloth at the sink and ran cool water over it. She dabbed his brow, face, and around his chin. Jane grumbled, but let her continue. _The cool cloth was nice._

"Jane, I think you're running a temperature."

"I wouldn't be, if I had some Tylenol," he murmured.

An annoying cell phone pulled Lisbon from her sleep. She rushed to pick it up before it went to voicemail. "Lisbon."

"Hospital Administrator, Ken Noble. Why are you preventing Patrick Jane from receiving his medication…?" Lisbon listened to the man drone on and on about the importance of prescribed medication and some conspiracy with the CBI.

"Mr. Noble, I assure you, no one at the CBI is trying to influence Patrick Jane." She listened to him carry on about medical advice and patient coercion… Guns in his hospital.

Even in the hospital, Jane managed to make her life miserable. She knew he was innocent, in this one exception, but she couldn't help but to feel, he was doing his best to be a thorn in her side.

"Yes sir, I would like to meet with you, Jane's doctor, and Jane in the morning." She ended the call and looked at the clock. Van Pelt was Jane sitting. She made the call to Van Pelt.

"Boss?"

"Why isn't Jane taking his pain meds?" Lisbon was too sleepy and too mad for a preamble.

"He's refusing narcotics."

"Of course he is… Give me an hour and I will be there to relieve you." Lisbon ended the call and headed for the shower.

Lisbon quietly opened the door to Jane's room. Van Pelt was sitting in the chair by his side. She looked up to her boss, worry etched across her face. She whispered, "He's not comfortable. He keeps mumbling, but I can't tell what he's saying. It's like, he's talking to someone."

Lisbon nodded, "Go home, I'll take it from here. Check in with Cho in 10 hours."

Van Pelt got up looking back at Jane. "We're all he has."

Lisbon sighed. "I know. I won't let him down."

Van Pelt took one more, long look at Jane, then Lisbon. "A cool washcloth helps."

"Thanks Grace."

_Daddy, I can help your boo boo. What boo boo baby? That one, there! See, I kissed it and made it better. Yes, you did baby girl. And there daddy. Thanks baby, I feel so much better!_

Lisbon dabbed the cool cloth across Jane's wrinkled brow. He relaxed. She wiped along his bruised jaw. She watched his pained face grow into a smile.

"Thanks baby."

TBC

Please let me know what you think. All ideas welcome and much appreciated. Tesa


	4. The Hospital Administrator

Thanks to Anna, allanon9, MentalistLover, Elizabeth, and Maxiem for the reviews. I appreciate your support and welcome your input. I'm struggling with this a bit. If you have any insight, please let me know.

**The Hospital Administrator**

"Jane?" He knew that worldly sweet voice. Lisbon.

"Hum?" The cool cloth against his skin was heavenly.

"Why won't you take the pain meds? I would think in your condition, you'd be screaming for them."

He knew she cared and he desperately wanted to please her. He couldn't take a chance on anyone knowing his tenuous grasp on reality. The only unconditional love he knew was that of his wife and little girl. He wouldn't give up the comfort of their voices. He needed them. He held on to the guilt. He deserved this punishment.

He shifted and sighed. "The meds make me sleepy."

Lisbon sat down in the chair next to him. "Look, we need to find a compromise. You can laugh at me, but this hospital thinks the CBI is involved in some conspiracy against you."

Jane moved his head so she could see the mirth dancing across his face. "Lisbon don't make me laugh, it hurts."

She couldn't fight the smile tugging at her lips. "The Hospital Administrator has some bug up his ass and thinks we're threatening you and withholding pain meds."

Jane sputtered and coughed. He couldn't stop a painful chuckle. "Lisbon, please… stop torturing… me."

"Jane, that's not funny!"

"Sorry".

"How did you manage to create havoc between the CBI, and an entire hospital while sleeping? That kind of mayhem takes real talent, so I concede, I give up, and you win!"

Jane choked out. "Thanks. Where's my prize?"

Lisbon thought for a moment. "Your prize is, me not shooting you."

"Oh, please stop it." Jane was almost in tears from the pain and the joyful banter he loved.

The door banged open. "What do you mean by not shooting him? I heard him beg you to stop."

Lisbon's reaction at the loud noise was her hand to gun. Jane's reaction was choking to the comedy unfolding. He chuckled and sobbed from the pain gripping his ribs.

Lisbon relaxed moving her hand away from her weapon. "And… you are?"

The small blond man, with comb over hair, straightened to his full height. "I am The Hospital Administrator, Ken Noble."

Jane tried to sooth his breathing, gasping, holding back painful laughter. The little man complex and bad comb over, literally made him want to laugh all over and it really hurt. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see Lisbon. If he did, he knew he would cough up a rib. He held the sheets close and swallowed back the laughter gurgling up, tears brimming. _This is priceless!_

"Mr. Noble, I'm Teresa Lisbon of the CBI." She glanced back at Jane. He clutched the sheets looking away. "We need to take this conversation to your office." She nodded at Jane, then the door.

Listening to the anger in Lisbon's voice and tomfoolery of "The Hospital Administrator" he struggled to relax against the angry pain engulfing his body.

Mr. Noble stood his ground studying the pale man in a hospital bed. His patient's distress was obvious. The poor man was shaking and holding back tears. Lisbon glared at the annoying bureaucrat.

"Mr. Jane should be aware of any conversation involving his care. Do you not agree Agent Lisbon?"

Lisbon took in a deep breath and sighed. "Sure. I'd like for his doctor to be here for this conversation."

"He is due to arrive very soon. Mr. Jane, do you need anything?"

She followed his gaze back to the bed. Her heart almost stopped. In less than a minute, he went from chuckling and uncomfortable, to tremors and his face twisted with pain. She grabbed the cloth and dabbed his brow soothing the creases. His eyes looked distant and unfocused.

_Pat, honey, please don't do this. Take the medicine._

_I can't control myself. I miss your voice and I need you. What if they find out? They'll put me in there again._

_No honey, there's a difference now. You hear my voice because you need to listen to reason. You're safe and they will help you. You know that. You know you're safe._

"Jane. Jane, can you hear me?" He grumbled at Lisbon's gentle urging. He finally focused on her face. She felt someone else behind her. With quick glance, she saw a doctor and nurse arrive. A dark young man in contrast to his white coat, rushed to the monitor display frowning at the vital signs.

Mr. Noble began rambling on and gesturing. The doctor shot him an icy stare, and the hospital administrator sputtered into silence.

Lisbon liked this doctor immediately. He seemed terribly young, yet he shut up his superior with a simple look.

Jane kept his eyes locked on Lisbon, while the nurse tenderly moved her aside to assist the doctor. He fully expected the doctor to ask her to leave, but the doctor acknowledged the connection, moving on to focusing on his patient. The doctor began checking injuries. The young man carefully removed the arm slings and pulled back the bandaging inspecting the stitches and inflammation. Lisbon froze at the damaged shoulders and arms. She saw the pictures in his case file, but they were nothing compared witnessing the full effect of his suffering. They gently moved his arms from the chest to his sides. Jane gasped and let out a small whine. Before she could react the doctor whispered, "I know it hurts." Softly touching the undamaged hand, "I have to check your wounds."

Jane pulled his attention away from Lisbon to the doctor. The pout was endearing. The lack of color and pain in his face was heart breaking. The doctor explained his shoulders needed to be immobile for another day or two, Ice therapy should continue until the heat and swelling goes away.

The nurse pulled back sheet and blankets exposing him from the waist up. Whelps, bruises and bandages completely covered his torso. Lisbon fought tears but couldn't stop herself from shaking at the sight. She heard Mr. Noble draw in a deep breath and say a small prayer.

The medical duo worked swiftly, examining wounds and replacing the bandages. With an occasional glance at Lisbon, the doctor quietly explained how the deep lacerations cut through abdominal muscles, thankfully not hitting any organs. At this stage of recovery, it's very easy to pull the stitches out. The doctor moved to the foot of the bed while the nurse covered up her patient.

Lisbon watched Jane groan, his body tense as the nurse placed his arms back into the slings. The doctor removed the covers from his legs, explaining his legs would heal nicely, but again due to the deep tissue damage he must be careful. The nurse joined the doctor and they finished up quietly.

The doctor and nurse spent a few minutes discussing treatment and putting notes in the medical file. While waiting, Lisbon rinsed the cloth in the sink with cool water and dabbed Jane's forehead. She spoke in soft quiet tones. "You need to stop being an idiot. Let go of trying to control everything, it's time you trusted us to take care of you. One of us will always be here to watch over you." She could tell she was making some headway by the way his eyes watered. "You wanted my trust, will here's a way to earn it without some psycho babble trust fall."

The doctor looked up from studying the chart. He walked over to the bedside next to Lisbon. Mr. Noble stepped up to the foot of the bed. "Mr. Jane, I reviewed you charts, at this point in your recovery I can't recommend stopping pain meds. Your request for Tylenol won't even help with the inflammation. I recommend propoxyphene for your pain medication. I think you will find it more to your taste than morphine. Please understand that it will not be as effective for pain management. I will remove sedatives as long as you remain stable and take the medication as I prescribed."

Jane looked to Lisbon who nodded, then glared at Mr. Hospital Administrator. "Thank you."

TBC

AN: Reviews are a greedy need. Please give me a fix!


	5. Potty Trained

Thanks to Lily Jayne, allanon9, Anna, MentalistLover, and TheMentalistGirl for your reviews and support. You motivation helps at the end of a long day.

Warning: An F bomb was dropped. All mistakes are mine.

**Potty Trained**

The new series of pain meds were trying, but he felt more in control of his words and actions. True to Lisbon's promise, one of the CBI team was always there. He desired to be alone to digest his current predicament, but much to his dismay, he felt comforted by the presence of his coworkers. Somehow, they managed their normal caseload. Only a couple of times, the CBI sent an agent outside the team.

They all tried to get him to eat, but the bland hospital food was unappealing. Grace brought him his favorite Italian dishes, minus heavy spices. He poked about and ate a few spoonfuls to demonstrate his gratitude. He felt stronger each day, thanks to the team's attention and dedication. He remained unusually quiet and uninterested in any games they asked him to play. To everyone's dismay, he didn't whine, piss off hospital staff, or ask to go home.

When he slept, the dreams of his torture morphed into his family's torture. He fought desperately to keep the line of reality and his lost family in check. He distanced himself from the team, fearful he would lose his ability to hide his inner secrets.

He was growing closer them individually. Whereas before, he knew their personalities and foibles, he never felt connected. They were entertaining, predictable and very easy to manipulate. The time he spent with them was in persona. He could maintain an easy distance, faking sleep to prevent interaction, and pushing their buttons so they felt uneasy in his presence. They never could predict how and when he would cause embarrassment, they only knew when an opportunity arose, he rarely resisted. He observed and noted everything waiting for a chance to annoy. Over the time, his petty games began hurt him as much them, but he couldn't stop.

In his current condition, he needed them, and that scared him more than mafia goons. The growing bond, the closeness, drained his autonomy. If he let them in, they would judge him, hate him and that would eventually destroy him. He couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't watch them turn away because he couldn't live up to their expectations. He refused to love another person, platonically or romantically. In the end, he was always alone. A shrink would say he had abandonment issues, but he knew he was toxic to anyone who cared for him. Life punished him every time he forgot.

After five days in the hospital, the doctor signed off on removing the leads, IV, and annoying catheter. He still wouldn't let Jane get out of bed, so he had to deal with the horrid bedpan.

To fight boredom, he and Rigsby channeled surfed. They found themselves fascinated by a woman's daytime talk show. They were discussing men on the down low. A physical therapist bounced into the room. The fit middle-aged man was dressed in hospital scrubs, a cheerful smile plastered across his face. Rigsby coughed with embarrassment and quickly turned the program off.

The physical therapist studied the chart. "Mr. Jane, we have our work cut out for us." Jane learned the correct way to roll out of bed without pulling the abdominal stitches. He couldn't avoid using his arms and shoulders, but the therapist figured out a way that would be less stressful on his injuries. The activity was grueling and painful, but successful. Jane made a trip to bathroom with the therapist hovering close by. Sweating and shivering he made it back to bed before his strength gave way. The therapist kept him upright and with expert medical finesse had him in bed before Rigsby could offer help.

Rigsby and the therapist went over how the help Jane and the areas of his body safe for offering support. They practiced various situations until both felt confident.

Lisbon arrived to relieve Rigsby. They practiced the new techniques Rigsby learned. Jane felt touched that they both took his success and new requirements to heart. Lisbon was practically beaming, knowing he achieved the next level of recovery and would soon be back to normal.

Before he left, Rigsby went to Jane's bedside. "You'll be out of here before you know it!"

Jane responded with a twisted grin, "Thanks".

Lisbon watched the two closely. She expected Jane to be happier at his improvement. A small smile graced his face while he thanked Rigsby. As soon as the tall agent turned away, she saw the rub of his thumb against his fingers.

She sat down in the chair next to the bad. "So, you're free to walk to the bathroom." Jane smiled sweetly back.

"Yes, I'm potty trained."

She laughed despite her concern. "It's about time!"

Jane chuckled and turned on the TV to avoid any more discussion.

Lisbon understood his deflection, but wanted to press on. If he was close to gaining independence, she needed to know he could handle the next step. She reached over and turned the TV off.

"Jane, we need to talk." He tensed in anticipation. No woman said those words unless she was ready gut, expose, and create deep emotional wounds.

"Lisbon, I'm tired. Can we talk tomorrow?"

"No, Jane, I want to know why you're being abnormally… well… quiet and cooperative." She studied the floor giving him a chance to think through the pain meds.

He knew if anyone would call him on his stuff, it would be her. Of the four, she was the most observant, intelligent, and stubborn, maybe more so than he was. She was the only variable in the equation. He hated to admit, she shook him to his core. She could be the next infected person to die by the Jane virus. He wouldn't let that happen.

"I'm tired Lisbon. I've had a long day." He whimpered hoping she would drop the subject.

As much as she wished to avoid to inevitable, she pushed on. "Jane, I'm not asking you to reveal details about your abduction." He knew she wanted to understand how he was coping. She cared and that hurt more than he could handle. She was too close, he knew his poison would kill her and he would die before he let fate take her.

"Lisbon, I sold hope for my own profit. What you do is far more important. You save lives. You stop the bad the guy. Please don't waste your time on me. I don't deserve this from you, Cho, Van Pelt or Rigsby."

Pity was a tool he used too often when she was close to understanding his motivation. "Jane, I don't care about your insecurities or guilt. I want you to know we care."

Jane cringed, "No, you can't or..."

Lisbon pushed forward, "Or what, you'll implode, have a panic attack? Grow some, will ya. We just want to help and you… you're too fucked up to get it!"

He knew she was right. She had him out of balance, off his game. Get away now before the Jane poison kills the only good in this world. "Yes I am, so why don't you get a life Lisbon. Go find a tragedy worthy of your talents!"

"No." She whispered. "You are a stubborn ass. You underestimate your place in the world. You have no idea how much you help, but your heart does. You can't run away from that any more than I can."

He turned away. "Yes, I can. I'm not you. This world no longer holds a place for me." His protest fell short of believable.

TBC

AN: Please let me know what you think. All ideas and constructive criticism are welcome. I wish to be a better writer. Tesa


	6. Mattie

**Mattie**

Much to Lisbon's dismay, CBI removed the security detail as per Jane's request. Without his help, CBI had no other leads. Jane knew he was the only link and it was better for resources spent elsewhere.

Every day he negotiated with the doctor for release. His doctor finally agreed as long as he hired in home professional assistance.

"Well, Mr. Jane, I see you're anxious to leave the hospital. You arranged for the next step in recovery at home, so I see no need to keep you here. You have someone to take care of your medical needs and physical therapy. You have my prescriptions. I expect to see you in seven days to remove the stitches and check your progress."

"Will do Doc. Thank you, I would like to say I've enjoyed my time here, but I would be lying."

"I would be worried if you didn't. So who's picking you up?"

"Cho, a member of the CBI will pick me up. I appreciate your recommendation for in home care. Her name is Mattie?"

"Yes, you'll find her very professional. She's my favorite. I've have never had a complaint about her. She will take good care of you and has no problem kicking you in the butt, if needed."

"Well, we'll see about that, but I need the occasional incentive."

"I'm never wrong with Mattie."

Jane felt relieved to unburden the team and have competent medical help. They wouldn't need to hold his hand any longer. They can go on with their lives knowing he was following his doctor recommended medical care. Health insurance covered in home care. Not that it mattered; he could've paid for it himself. There was no reason for them to give up their personal time to Jane sit.

Cho brought sweats for the ride home. Jane frowned at the selection and painfully changed from the hospital gown into the comfortable clothing. The drive to his apartment was quiet. He helped Jane to the door, fishing out the keys they found in his car. As he opened the door, Jane pushed through heading toward the couch, the only piece of furniture in sight and stiffly settled into the couch. "Thanks Cho, I can handle it from here."

After a quick inventory of the room, Cho looked back at the man on the couch. "I'll wait for your home care nurse."

"Suit yourself. I'm sure she'll be here soon."

Cho went to the kitchen. The refrigerator was bare, nothing to feed the injured man. He grabbed a glass and filled it with water. He pulled out Jane's meds and got the stubborn man to take his medication.

A knock at the door, then the locked turned. A tall black woman entered the apartment, arms filled with grocery bags. Her smile was as charismatic as Jane.

"Well now, I see you're home Mr. Jane," Her accent lightly Jamaican.

Cho helped her carry the bags to the kitchen. He whispered, "Look, he's been through a lot lately and he can be a hand full, but…"

"No worries, man, I know the type."

Cho frowned; this woman had no idea what she was getting herself into with Jane.

She studied Cho closely. "I read his file, I've dealt with worse. Don't worry; I will make sure he follows doctor's orders. We'll get along fine, if not I'll ask for your help. I have all of your team's numbers."

Cho nodded and helped her put the groceries away. He was reluctant to leave, hovering over the nurses movements. His presence didn't seem to bother her.

Cho decided it would be better to witness the compatibility of patient and care giver. He helped her carry in her luggage into the guest room. They were both surprised that there was no furniture in the room. She glanced at Cho then went to the master bedroom. Like the guest room, there was no furniture, not even a mattress.

They both went into the living room; Jane was seemly sleeping on the couch. Mattie moved to the couch and gave it a light kick. "Mr. Jane, where do you expect us to sleep?"

"Um, sleep? I sleep on the couch and you go home at night."

Mattie smiled at her new charge. "Mr. Jane, I am here 24/7 to take care of you for the next four weeks. The couch does not meet the standards for your recovery and I'll not sleep on the floor."

Jane gazed at Cho, then Mattie. "Look in my wallet for my credit card and order whatever you need." He closed his eyes and turned away from the two. Cho found the wallet in the clear plastic bag given him at the hospital.

Mattie took the card. "Mr. Cho, would you mind staying here while I acquire the necessary accommodations."

A few hours later, men brought in two queen size mattresses sets and bed frames. They set up the beds in both bedrooms. Jane seemed to sleep through the noise of delivery and installation of the bedding. Mattie made up the beds with linens she purchased.

She went to her charge, Cho watching, she knelt down by Jane's side. "Mr. Jane, I need you to get up and follow me to your bedroom."

Jane sighed and turned away. "I'm good here."

"No, you're not. You need to be in a proper bed, resting. If you like, I'll have Cho carry to your room." Jane blinked looking from Cho to his nurse. Both looked intent on making him move.

"Okay, I'm going." He sat up, holding his side. His movements were slow and steady as he headed toward the master bedroom. Cho followed closely, hoping his friend wouldn't fall. Once Jane settled in the new bed, he left him to talk to the caregiver.

"What can I do to help?"

Mattie appreciated his concern. "He's lucky to you as a friend, but for now he needs distance and a sense of autonomy. I'll call if I need help. Give him time to adjust. I know what I'm doing, please trust his care to me."

Cho reluctantly left the two, hoping for the best.


	7. Too Quiet

My thanks go out to MentalistLover and Anna. I'm so sorry I didn't acknowledge your support in Potty Trained. Anna, MentalistLover, Aqua Mage, MistiqeDarkAngel, and krystknght, I'm glad you liked Mattie. I live for your reviews!

**Too Quiet**

Once the bedroom door closed, Jane opened his eyes. The bed was large and comfortable, and the room too quiet for his taste. He felt numb, lonely, empty… lost. His thoughts merged into one powerful ache. The empty side of the bed pulled him into a tidal wave that crashed into a wall of guilt. He could hear them screaming. He saw the flood of red, felt their last breath. A cold sweat enveloped his body. He shot out of the bed into a corner of the room. The involuntary reaction sent daggers through his healing wounds. The physical agitation added a distraction, forcing his mind to fragment and thread into discomfort. He pushed further against the corner until his pain equaled the screams of his family. He remained melded into the walls until exhaustion took over. He fell into grievous puddle.

Through the pain-filled haze, he heard the front door opened and closed. Cho must have left. A few minutes later, he heard the sound of the kitchen cupboards open and close, pans placed on the stove and humming. Slowly he gathered himself and pushed in to a standing position. Carefully, hugging the wall, he limped to the bedroom door. Quietly, he opened the door, waiting. Mattie's attention was on cooking, so he stumbled to the couch. Painfully, he stretched out and relaxed into the cushions. The bed was more comfortable, but the couch allowed him to relax. There was no empty cold space to remind him of his loss.

Mattie hummed as she prepared the evening meal. The kitchen was the only equipped place in the apartment. The stale air filled with the aromas of cooking. The meal was simple but tasty, a warm bowl of soup, crusty bread and a light salad. She looked forward to helping Mr. Jane. Most of her patients were terminal. She rarely spent time with a patient with the prognosis of a full recovery.

He heard her footsteps heading for his room, but they fell short as she saw him on the couch.

"Mr. Jane, I thought you were resting in bed?"

His eyes fluttered open conveying innocence. "I've spent too much time in bed. I prefer listening to your humming and enjoy the aromatic aroma filling my humble Sacramento condo." He pushed himself up, sending a warm grin. "What's for supper?"

"Well, I hope you're hungry."

He masked the ache, and projected exuberance, "Yes, I am. I so miss a decent meal and pleasant company."

Mattie played along, knowing the A type personality. "Would you care to dine in the kitchen or you prefer having a meal served in bed?"


	8. Can Anybody Help Me?

Thanks Maxiem, Anna, MentalistLover, and MistiqueDarkAngel for your reviews. You make my day and encourage my FF endeavors.

_It's nice to be loved. To be held… to feel the warmth... I had that, but I never deserved it. I failed. I failed them. I never want that again. The loss is too much! I flinch at their concern, then, I hide behind my smile, my words, creating distraction. _

"Mattie, there's nothing I'd like more than to share a meal with a beautiful woman such as yourself. Shall we?"

Mattie leaned in to help Jane up. She whispered, "I collect flattery for a rainy day. You, my dear, just earned a couple of hours of goodwill." They slowly moved into the kitchen. The table was a set for one. She sensed his disappointment and settled him into his chair. "Don't worry sunshine, I'll join you." She set a second place and served the meal.

Jane pretended to eat. He made the appropriate noises, blew on the soup, and took a couple bites of salad. Somehow, he felt comforted by sharing a meal. The soup was very tasty. He found himself enjoying the simple task of chatting.

"Mattie, you have an interesting accent. I detect a mix of Creole and Jamaican."

"My mother was from Jamaica. My father's family is from New Orleans before the time of city records, Creole."

"Fascinating, your accent is light and pleasant, your heritage romantic, southern, French and Jamaican. You, my dear, are the heart of a budding romance novel."

"Maybe, but my soul desires helping others, such as you."

"Ah… A spiritual individual beholding to higher beliefs."

"I'm no fool. While I enjoy your charm, I won't ignore your needs. You'll regain your footing, but I doubt you'll want move forward. I hope you're brave because you'll never encounter a greater foe than your own demons. I'll exercise the evil even if threatens your sanity."

Jane produced his best smile, blending in the appropriate amount of humility "Journey on, if you like. But no one controls me."

Mattie watched as he played around eating. She made sure the salad was finely cute, easy for him to eat without assistance. The soup was warm enough to enjoy, but not hot enough to burn.

Jane distracted himself by lightly tapping on the table. An old Beatles tune played on the lower levels of his subconscious. The words, his own thoughts.

_And, if I died tomorrow, who would feel my weight? _

_Everyone would be lighter,_

_For me, nothing beyond hell holds my fate._

_Please tell me, how little I matter…_

_So, I can drown in self-hate._

_I hope no one will worry about me tomorrow. _

_For this is something I can take._

But he knew better. They did worry, and he had to stop it before another soul died.

TBC


	9. Mr Jane

Thanks Anna, xanderseye, MentalistLover for you reviews! I can't believe 14 people added "After the Red Daze" to their favorites. Wow! I apologize for the slow updates.

Mattie saw him fade, staring off into his own space. He was lost. She gave him time to recoup. He slowly raised his spoon and took a small sip of soup.

"Mr. Jane?"

"Hum? Jane, call me Jane."

"Time for your meds, Mr. Jane."

"Okay." A small grin turned into a grimace as he tried to regain composure.

Mattie collected the pills from the small group of bottles.

She refilled his water and watch closely as he swallowed each pill. She felt at a loss to understand why the man didn't have a bed or some form of entertainment in his apartment. Most people had a bed and TV, stereo, or radio. She found a few books, boxes of work files, but nothing else. Her gut told her the man suffered from severe depression.

Jane sensed her discomfort. "I spend very little time here. I'm sorry, my apartment doesn't have the amenities of a home." He moved from the kitchen table into the living room and sat at one end of the couch. He weakly waved his hand at the empty space where one normally would have a TV or stereo. "I think I should buy a TV. It will be very boring here without something to keep us occupied." He sunk into the couch, his exhaustion obvious. "I know what you are thinking and I'm not depressed. This apartment is not a place of solace or escape."

He sighed quietly knowing she wouldn't understand. If the roles were reversed, he'd call her a liar. But, she didn't. She sat at the other end of the couch lost in thought. With a slight nod of her head, she weighed the situation. "It's getting late, is there anything else you need?"

"No, Mattie, I'm good."

She stood up and went into her room leaving Jane to work out his sleeping arrangements. If he chose the couch, she knew he hadn't moved beyond the loss of his family. The dynamic of kidnap and torture added to a greater loss of control, most deadly to an A type personality, an interesting situation. She smiled, it's been a long time since she had a challenge.

The doorbell interrupted from her nightly preparations.

Passing through the living room, she saw Jane slowly move from the couch. He nodded toward the master bedroom. She waited until he limped down the hallway and the master bedroom door closed.

After a several more rings, she opened the door to find Kimball Cho, the man who brought Mr. Jane home. "Yes, how may I help you?"

"May I see Jane?"

"Mr. Cho, Mr. Jane has retired." She opened the door for Cho to enter the apartment. "Would you like to come in?"

"No thanks. Is he following your instructions?"

"We're doing good so far."

"Call me if you need a break. He can wear out anyone's patience."

Mattie smiled, "I'm sure you'll be hearing from me. Please come back when you have a chance. He needs to know he has friends."

Cho turned away from the doorway and Mattie closed and locked the door. She went back to the guest room. Through the wall, she heard Jane's cell phone ringing. As best as she could tell, he didn't answer. A few minutes later, her cell rang.

"Hello!"

"Mattie, Teresa Lisbon, how's Jane?"

"Ms. Lisbon, he eating a little and currently resting."

"Oh, why does that sound like anyone else but Jane?"

"Ms. Lisbon, we're just starting to get to know each other. He needs a little time to himself to feel in control. Give us time."

"Right… if you give him control, he won't take care of himself. Please understand, he'll do anything, play any game, to make you believe everything is okay, but he's far from okay."

"Ms. Lisbon, I understand he's hasn't been okay since he lost his family. This last trauma has him teetering toward a bad place. I won't let that happen. We'll get through this. I promise. I'll call when I need your help, and I will need your help. He has no idea how lucky he is to have you and your team's support. A patient who has people who care, is a God send for me."

"Mattie, I think you'll feel different after you've had a ride on the Jane train."

"I'll keep that in mind Ms. Lisbon".

"Please, it's Teresa. Have a good night and kick Jane for me. Tell him, if he can't follow your orders, I will shoot him!"

"Thanks Teresa, I like to know I have an ace up my sleeve."

"Any time, good night Mattie."

"Good night Teresa."


	10. Fantasy

**Thanks to Anna, MentalistLover and BlueDiamondStar for your support. You are the best! softball34 is the latest to add this story to her favorites. Any constructive criticism is welcomed.**

Mattie tapped on the master bedroom door. "Mr. Jane, may I come in?"

She waited a few seconds and slowly opened the door to reveal the man setting on the edge of the bed, his arms resting on his knees, his anxious eyes locked on her.

He sighed. "Thank you for giving me a little time. They're good people and I wish…" He lowered his head, fingers wistfully rubbing. "I wish, I could… I don't know… how to…"

She knew he felt lost. He was not a man to accept sympathy. "Cho and Lisbon were checking up on you. I told them what they wanted to hear. I don't like lying. You and I have to come to an agreement. I'll give you some time to adjust, as long as you follow my advice. Accept their support and be strong enough to keep them from your own demons."

His body shook as if a chill travelled from the heart to his soul. He looked so small… so lost. The transformation from exhaustion to distracted vigilance was disturbing. Mattie lightly touched the trembling shoulder. "Time for PJs."

He nodded at the closet door where she found the folded garments. He seemed hesitant and shamefully let her him remove his clothing. Carefully she helped him change, seeing the damage in line with his medical records and shocked at massive scaring from old wounds. This man mentally hid what his body couldn't. She had to respect his privacy doubting anyone in his support group understood how deep the scars lay. Someone should have noted them in his chart. His shoulders were an angry red, swollen as if he did pushups to exhaustion.

"Mr. Jane, you shoulders are inflamed. I need to ice them to reduce the swelling." She place pillows to arrange him into a comfortable position. "I'll get the ice packs, just relax."

On her return, she was grateful to see him relaxed into the pillows and his eyes closed. His breathing was even as if he were in a light trance. She placed the icepacks and pulled up the covers to give his core warmth. A small hiss escaped.

"I know it's cold but it'll numb the pain."

Jane slowly accepted the cold; it squelched the heat and pain he felt since pressing his shoulders into the bedroom corner. Mattie left and came back with a kitchen chair she placed next to the bed. "Are you warm enough, Mr. Jane?"

He nodded and transformed himself into his quiet place. He no longer deserved the loving arms of his family, so he retreated to the place of childhood fantasy. He read "Swiss Family Robinson" and desired the love of an ideal of family. He felt the warm breezes from an island tree house, the sounds of timber swaying in the wind and surf beating on rocks in the distance. There was no dung to clean up and no marks. He locked himself into the adventure, winning the race, building a safe and happy home, surviving against all odds.

The love of family was something he never understood until he lost everything. Tension laced through his damaged joints he no longer deserved the fantasy of fiction. Fantasies be damned!

_We all have our stories. Some seem so simple… so easy… the loss of wealth… the loss of love. There is much more to scar a soul and wreck sanity._

_And for my actions?_

_The loss of an innocent child… and a woman who loved me…_

_Let me be forever damned… I let the innocent die… and yet I live… I did this…I choose this… not them._

_Please let me sacrifice all that I am… and all that I have…. _

_I accept hell and all it brings. For I deserve nothing better._

_Yes, Mattie, I'll do my best to appear normal, so you will discourage the team's concerns. I can't hide the scars, but I can use them to influence you, just as I did the medical staff._

Mattie quietly noticed his inner turmoil, his swift bounce from pain, to relaxation, then tension to exhaustion. She knew he skirted on the edge and was very close to losing control. When he did, she would be there.


	11. We Did Nothing

Thanks Anna and mentalistlover for believing in my work and reviewing almost every chapter of the "Red Daze" series. Thanks to xanderseye, lightrain, Krows Scared, and BlueDiamondStar for the latest reviews.

AN: I hope Dr. Seuss doesn't mind a few quotes from "The Cat in the Hat".

**Chapter 11**

**We Did Nothing**

Mattie retrieved one of the kitchen chairs, setting it close the bedside. She settled in with her Kindle and book light. His breathing slowed, but she was not foolish enough to believe he was sleeping. After twenty minutes, she put the ice packs back in the freezer and peeked in on Mr. Jane. He hadn't moved. She left the door partially open and turned on the hallway light.

In the guest room, she changed into her pajamas, spreading her housecoat along the foot of the bed. A small slither of hallway light gave her peace of mind that any sounds from the master bedroom would easily wake her.

Jane lay in the small amount of illumination from the hallway waiting for Mattie to fall asleep. His mind twisted and turned to calculating the ripple effect of his evolving plan.

_Daddy, read me a bedtime story. _

Jane pulled the extra pillow close to his side and sighed. He remembered every word of his daughter's books.

_The sun did not shine. It was too wet to play. So we sat in the house. All that cold, cold, wet day. _

_I sat there with Sally. We sat there, we two. And I said, "How I wish We had something to do!"_

_Too wet to go out And too cold to play ball. So we sat in the house. We did nothing at all._

He gently stroked the soft pillow as if his daughter was at his side.

His eyes drifted closed as a solitary tear drifted away.

Mattie's phone alarm pulled her out of a deep sleep. The cold wind pounded upon the walls of the condominium. She sat up and rubbed her eyes attempting to focus in the dim light. It was time to check Mr. Jane and see if the swelling went down. Grabbing her bathrobe, she padded into the lit hallway. The master bedroom was completely silent. She looked at the bed. There was an empty impression where he once laid, the covers strewn about.

She heard a small murmur. Her charge was huddled in the corner of the room shaking violently. Instinctually, she knelt beside him and pulled him into a hug.

He melted into the warm body holding him. She whispered softly. "I know, I understand."

For a brief moment, he gave into the comfort. She felt his body shudder then stiffen. He pulled away looking at the floor. "I… like the couch better." She helped him to stand up, studying his demeanor.

"Why, the couch?"

He sought her eyes and needed her to know. "Because, it's not a bed!"

Mattie understood completely. Her son died at the age of five from leukemia. No parent really recovered from the loss of a child. Her marriage dissolved. When she tried to sleep in their large bed, the emptiness was too much. The couch had been her solace as well. How many years did she sleep on the couch? She finally moved on and slept in a normal bed when her husband remarried and she felt the call to comfort the sick.

In the dim light, a large smile crossed her face. "Thank ya, Captain Obvious."

She helped him to the couch. In his condition, he should be in a hospital, not lying on a narrow couch. "Mr. Jane, this isn't helping ya, but I understand."

"Mattie, are you a certified health care professional?"

"Most certainly, Mr. Jane."

"Being my medical care giver, you understand the laws of confidentiality."

She nodded and caught the importance of his statement. She felt his stare and met his eyes. "Yes."

He reached out and held her hand, a small smile on his face. "Then I trust you not to share my aversion to beds."

"Nuh said, I'll not tell a soul, but ya know your friends are more informed than I. They may figure it out, but I promise, it won't come from me."

"I trust you to keep your observations to yourself." He let go of her hand.

She let go. This man had no idea how translucent he could be.

She let him sleep on the couch but insisted on icing his damaged shoulders. He didn't resist, he took it all in stride.


End file.
